6 Jan, Wednesday

My last salsa lesson. I can’t believe how time flies. It has been 3 months back since I started learning salsa dance. Although I had been dancing for 3 months, my skills still sucks like hell. I was asking around whether anyone is going for the next Intermediate Improver 1 lesson & only a handful of my course mates told me they are going while the rest simply had a ‘wait & see’ attitude. I don’t think I will be going for the next advance class. My salsa ‘kaki’ seemed to have dispersed and I think I should try something different for a change.

Paul took a photo of me in salsa studio.… I hope we will still keep in contact.

3 Jan, Monday

Have a dinner date with Shiryee, Davina, Eelvin & Gin. Initially wanted to meet up at Cityhall but Gin called at the last minute saying there is a change of venue. We are meeting in Plaza Singapura instead... Haiz.. thought I could drop by Esplanade library for a while if we are meeting in Cityhall instead.

I rushed all the way to Plaza Singapura and I feel very self-concious when I spotted Davina they all looking at me & whispering while I’m heading towards their direction.

I was so sensitive that I blurted out to them,” I know something!!” They all looked at me in excitement thinking I was kinda revealed some latest gossips and news and were anticipating anxiously til I said aloud,” You all must be gossiping about me while on my way here right?”

They burst out laughing when they heard what I had commented. They simply brushed it off and said I’m too sensitive & they sweared they never said anything or gossiping about me at all.

We headed down to Mos Burger to have dinner and I’m such a glutton! I ordered a Teriyaki Chicken Burger Meal with fries, burger and milk tea. Not feeling full enough, I ordered a corn soup & salad.. I spent $11 in total on food alone! Oh my good... I thought my new year resolution is to slim down to 45kg and below? I’m getting more & more paranoid and weight conscious... Feel abit like Bridget Jones... maybe I’m too engrossed in reading the novel that I feel I’m like her in certain way.. we all woman are neurotic freak!

Shiryee told me her prawn fritters that she ordered had never come and the waiter had missed out. I’m a bit too rushed and said,” I’m going to the counter to demand the prawn fritters. If they decline my order, I’m going to make a fuss & complaint.”

I walked to the counter without smiling and tell them straight that they had missed out my order.

I think I must have looked fierce because they all looked very frightened and they even send a small packet of fries as a apology to me. Well, good service recovery anyway...

Actually I’m not really pissed off, is just that I went up to them without smiling(I look really fierce when I don’t smile) and ordered them in a demanding tone...

Gin took out some forms and handed a copy to me, Davina & Shiryee. It turned out to be ‘Miss Singapore Universe’ beauty contest. Davina immediately returned it back saying she is not qualified. The contest demands all ladies to be 1.65m & above but Davina is only 1.56m. I returned back to her too because:

1. My complexion. figure is too way below average to qualified & join ‘Miss Singapore Universe’.

2. My company has a very strict rules & regulations and doesn’t allow its staff to appear on TV, take up any part time job without their consent.

3. I’m only 1.58m tall

I gave her an excuse saying I’m too short. Shiryee also said she can’t join because she is born in Malaysia and not in Singapore. Hence, she is not eligible to join as well.

Gin sounded disappointed. I suspected she wanted to join the contest is due to peer pressure. There are many NTU gals in her school rushing to join the beauty contest and she doesn’t wanna lose out too. With Gin’s sweet smile & charismatic natural beauty, I think she will definitely qualified for the contest.

We chit-chat til 9.15pm then we went upstairs for our movies ,”Meet The Fockers”.

It is damn hilarious. Maybe is because I didn’t place high hopes on this movie since I didn’t really like the first sequel, “Meet The Parent.”

Anyway, did enjoy myself with this movie. By the time I took MRT & reach YCK. It is already 11.55pm. I had missed the last bus. Shit! Had to spend $7.35 for the cab home plus midnight surcharge.

4 Jan, Tuesday

I’m feeling jealous!! Sucks.. it has been so long since I feel jealous of someone... I think I had been living with this ‘bo chup’ attitude for past few years til I forget what is the feeling of jealousy like...(not including that Nichola bitch incident)

I’m in a bad mood today. Unexplainable. I suspect I’m having PMS or my menstrual period is coming soon.

I was talking to Geri about my Flea Mart event & Audrey happens to be around. Told her about some changes to be made in the publicity banner & Audrey added that Geri should hold on & wait a while before designing the banner for bowling event. She said she might consider putting the sponsor’s logo & I asked her which company is sponsoring. She replied is XYZ energy drinks sponsoring us. I had never heard of that company before and asked her for more details. She said she is not too sure because it is Ruying who sourced for this sponsorship.

I'm getting more & more neronic, petty, getting jealous over small matters, being childish. Oh God... When will I grow up? I'm acting like a small pampered spolit brat....

Dec 29, Wednesday

My salsa dance class again. Heard from my classmates that today is the last class. Am horrified to know that. Realize is false alarm as Aaron told us next week is the last class.

I won’t be continuing the salsa class. The fees are too expensive. The Intermediate Improver 1 lesson cost $98 for 6 lessons.... plus I think I’m not that really passionate about salsa....

I rather save the money for French lesson, Japanese lesson, Wakeboarding or scuba diving lesson.

I head down to Zouk for Mambo Night. Paul & Adrian from my salsa class tagged along with me. Paul & I went to have supper at the nearby coffeshop while Adrian went back home to change.

When I approach the street leading to the coffeshop, I sensed a familarity. I realise I had been here before with Charlene, Kelvin (when they were still dating), Bee & me and we had nasi lemak nearby.

After supper, meet up with Adrian and took a cab to Zouk.

Am horrified to learn that there was a long queue outside Zouk. I’m puzzled... I have never encountered such a long queue in Zouk Mambo before. Gin told me because it is the last Mambo of the year(last wednesday of 2004) and plus the young kids are going back to school next week... No wonder.

We queue up for waited for 2 hours before we were allowed in. We were pissed off with the bouncer because they told Gin & Davina to queue up at the line leading to entrance in Phuture while the guys stayed in the queue. The guy’s queue were moving fast because they were paying the entrance fees while it is ladie’s night and we ladies no need to pay a cent at all.

Adrian sms me twice to sms me whether am I in during the 2 hours wait.

We jumped queue to Zouk’s entrance and finally gotten in. It is really very crowded and squeezy and I had difficulty locating Adrian & Paul. I wanted to place my bag at the bag deposit counter but with all the people lining up in front of me, I gave up and head downstairs to look for the gals.

I got lost when Davina & gang moved down to dancefloor. Luckily Davina managed to spot us and we were dancing in a corner and there were so many ‘buaya’ guys trying to use lame pick up lines to know us and brushing us so many times. I didn’t really enjoyed dancing in such a limited space.

The crowd got lesser around 2am and Gin pointed at a plump gal dancing on the platform. She said, “ This girl tried to compete with me in NTU ballet’ Shiryee & me looked at her and gave Gin a disgusted look. The plump gal looked really gross with her flapping her hands wilding and swaying so hard I’m scared she will push all her pretty girlfriends off the platform. Haha...

Gin’s friend-Terrence were around too and both of us feel uncomfortable seeing each other. (don’t know why)

We gals decided to occupy the platform and danced our way. I feel so self-concious dancing on top that I didn’t danced really wildly and seemed boring with all the same dance steps. I decided to step down and I indeed danced more wildly and happily below.

I danced beside Adrian and being nosy, asked him who was the prettiest among my friends. He pointed out Davina and I’m not surprised. She looked pretty and wild with her dancing on the platform unconsciously. I asked him how about Gin& Shiryee? He said Davina & me were the prettiest.. haha.. think he is trying to make me happy by giving this comment.

We left Zouk at around 4am and we were dilly-dallying considering whether to head down to have supper.

In the end, we decided not to and since I got to work tomorrow at 9am...

I feel so tired on our way back that I nearly dosed off when Wenlong was chatting with me. I suspected he was ‘hinting’ something to me as we were talking about relationships and me being single... he said maybe I could trying finding a pilot as a boyfriend.. (he was a pilot in his NS Days and might be a pilot serving for Singapore Armforce when he finished his university in SMU) I don’t know whether I’m being sensitive but I brushed it off

I’m not ready to get into a relationship yet.

Dec 31, Friday

Half day in office today. Literally not in the mood to work. Am counting down to 1pm where I’m officially off work! Yeah~ Going to meet up with Shiryee, Davina to celebrate New Year countdown. I’m feeling frustrated as they always can’t make up their mind where to go for celebration. They are stuck between celebrating it in Davina’s house or go clubbing.

I will choose to celebrate in Davina’s house instead coz:

1. Clubbing and counting down on New Year’s Eve will be fucking expensive. The entrance fees will be 1 or 2 times more expensive than its usual price

2. I don’t really feel like dancing all night long. Especially with the tsunami disaster happening near our area, the mood for partying had been dampen by the tragedy.

Found out from Janet that I make the least donation for the tsunami tragedy. Most of my colleagues donating $50 and above while I’m donating merely $10. Feeling embarrassed by it. Was contemplating whether to donate more but decoded against it coz I got so many things to paid for.... my driving fees, my part time studies in SIM.

Called Eric up to meet him for a short while. Wanna pass him his belated x’mas pressie. Unfortunately, it rained heavily and at that moment in time, I really feel like leaving the present in office and passing it to him another day as it is a hassle to bring it out and soaking the present wet from the rain.

I make up my mind to bring it out instead as that was the main reason why I wanna meet up with him. I reached Tampines interchange, paid my credit card bill in Isetan and also gotten a shopping bag to place the presents.

I arrived at Citihall first and went window shopping. Managed to browse through some clothes in Mango store and none caught my eye. Great~ Manage to minimise damage of my pockets.... heehee...

Eric arrived shortly and the moment I saw him afar wearing pink shirt, I make a crude & straightforward comment: “ Eeewwkkk... why are you wearing pink colour? It is so disgusting!”

Eric’s face changes and gave me a very unahppy look. “Thanks lor,” was his reply. Shit! I made him angry... it was meant to be a joke and I think the joke went a bit too far as he also seemed frustrated about the huge crowds in the shopping mall. We decided on having lunch in food court instead and went to Esplanade library to find his Angela’s Ashes book.

I was confident that the library will have the book as I saw 2 book on the shelves 1 week ago. When we reached there, we searched frantically and to our disappointment; unable to find the book we wanted. He told me he is very unlucky as he always can’t seemed to borrow the books he wanted and luck is always not on his side. I tried to console him by saying he is uttering rubbish and will help him to look out for the story book he wanted.

We stayed in the library browsing books and I managed to get hold of Marilyn Monroe’s picture book. Hmm... I feel that she looked much better when she was a red-head instead of going platinum blonde.. think her platinum blonde look is so fake...

We stayed til 5pm where the library closes. Eric and I were amazed how fast time flies. I asked him to accompany me to Carrefour to buy some cakes and tidbits to Davina’s house and we shopped around in Carrefour. I ended up buying Cheesecake and donuts. Total damage? Less than $10 only...

After finishing shopping for groceries, seeing that I had a bit of time left, went to sit outside Carrefour shopping centre and chit chat a while. We were chatting for about 20 minutes and it started to rain heavily. I looked at my watch and horrified to learn I’m going to be late! Eric opened up his umbrella and he put his arm around me while the 2 of us rushed inside the building to refuge shelter. I felt weird that he put his arm around me and for a moment, my feeling were confused.

He walked me to the MRT and we bid goodbye there.

I took the train to all the way to Woodland and luckily I had my Bridget Jone’s Diary Novel with me otherwise I will dies of boredom on the long journey.

I was so engrossed in the novel that I realised I had missed my stop and had to take a train back to Woodlands again.

When I reached there, saw Shiryee & Weide queuing up to purchase KFC.

We aboarded Weide’s car shortly and I noticed Shiryee & Weide keep on arguing. I can sensed the tension in their tone of voices and I realised that they indeed had a rocky relationship currently from the way they responded to each other. It was no longer that sweet and longing gazes into each others eyes, teasing each other mischievously. I’m worried about them and sighed at how simple sweet love can turned sour....

On the way to Davina’s house, Shiryee told me she was glad I’m no longer with Richie, I told her today was the 1 year anniversary where he & the 3^rd party bitch were dating.

She was amazed I could remebered their date and I merely brushed it off saying because I remembered I begged him to patch up with me on 1^st January last year. She said I deserved a much better guy than Richie and I agreed her sentences too.

Arrived at Davina’s house and we 3 gals were chit chatting about the tsunami tragedy while the guys went and took the pizzas we ordered.

When the pizzas finally arrived, we took all the food up to Davina’s room and were pigging out with the pizzas, potato chips, cheesecakes, KFC chickens...

Shiryee also helped me to untangle the huge lump of untangled hair ever since I permed my hair. She took 1 hour and still could not untangle my stubborn knot. She joked that I’m like a tai-tai, reading Cosmopolitan magazines, sitting in front of a TV with the screen doubling as ‘mirror’ & Shiryee as ‘hairdresser’ helping me to untangle my hair. She gace up eventually, asked for my permission and cut off my untangle bunch of hair... I feel heart pain at that moment but I feel more comfortable. I no longer have to sleep with a feeling of a bunch of hair under my neck...

We surfted the internet, played video games all the way to 12 am and we also set up a mahjong table to play tile games... I’m surprised I’m having fun despite having thoughts of boring countdown before I headed to Davina’s house.

Weide fall asleep and Shiryee feel fearful he will get angry. She leaves Davina’s house reluctantly and Eelvin offered to send me back home. So sweet of him.

I arrived home at 5am and sleep straightaway.

1 Jan 05, Saturday

New Year Day!! I woke up at around 11am and laze around the house doing nothing. Shiryee sms me asking me whether I wanna go KTV but I didn’t see her messages as I’m browsing magazines downstair while my handphone is on my bedroom at 2^nd level. By the time I sms her back saying I don’t mind going KTV with her, is already 3.30pm.

She replied back saying I’m late in replying her and suggested having dinner & clubbing at Dbl O later.

I agreed and went up to my brother’s room wanting to serach and watch some VCDs. I discovered upon he had some new porno VCD and decided to watch some... haha...

I started preparing myself at around 6pm as I’m supposed to meet them at 7.30pm in Bugis, I ended up leaving house at 6.45pm.. Whoah.. I’m late...

My outfit for that day is ‘retro theme’. Wearing turtoquise-blue sleeveless top with a black round ring accessory the collar plus white mini skirt with pleats. I paired up with my white pointed high heels shoes , dark green MAC pigments eyeshadow on my eyelids & white round shapped ear rings....  Voila, I’m a retro queen!

Meet up with Bee first and she came to find me in Kinokuniya.... I was browsing the magazines and we went to MacDonald to wait for them.

They arrived about 15 minutes later and we headed up to Billy Bombers to have our dinner.

Ordered milk shake and Cod Fish & Chip for myself.. Feel so guilty & sinful after last night’s feast.

We were early in Dbl O. There were no queue at all and we have some alcoholic drinks. I ddin’t drink much as I feared drinking ever since my drunken state in Mambo Zouk. I made a casual remark why Ben(Weide’s brother) didn’t come to Zouk & they all teased me saying I’m missing Ben... aarrrgghhh.. they always like to tease me with Ben...

We danced and the music is boring. Were dancing on the platform and Wenlong spotted me. Ha...  Also saw Ah-wei and Shiryee were talking to him. I noticed Weide rushing over and Shiryee stepped down from the platform. They stepped aside and seemed to be arguing again. I suspected Weide feel paranoid about Shiryee talking to guys and rushed over. Shiryee tried to calm him down and explaining things to no avail. They left and Shiryee send an sms to me that reads,” Weide not feeling well. Need to go off. Enjoy yourself. Can you help me to keep my bag?”

We danced til 1.50am where the music turned to R&B (boring) and we left the club.

Hmm... thinking hard of my New Year Resolution for 2005. Well, I never keep and fulfilledf any of them anyway but I think I will list them out nontheless

New Year Resolution For 2005

1. Slim down to 45kg

2. Not to be so stingy even though I’m saving for my university fees

3. Pamper myself and treat my skin complexion

4. No buying and lavishing on expensive skincare products anymore

    (I have too much at home)

5. Not to eat even when I don’t feel hungry at all

6. Cut down on snacking

7. Have more self-confident of myself

8. Get my driving license by this year

9. Be more mature and stop acting like a kid

10. Read more books and feast myself with knowledge

Dec 23 Thursday,

Nothing much to do in office. In x’mas mood today. Is my ex-Richie’s birthday. Doesn’t really miss him but was wondering who is he celebrating the birthday with.... Have a date with Gin and we are going to Dbl O to party!!

Actually I don’t really have the mood to go partying... Flashback to a year ago, I remember I was standing outside in Devil’s Bar smsing my ex... I was really not in the mood for parting at that time too....

I was supposed to meet them at Dbl O at 10pm.. I was feeling tired and it is only 7.20pm and has nowhere to go... I ended up killing time by reading my Thomas Harris novel. There were a few more pages to go and I finally completed my story

I met up with Gin in the end and was queuing up at Double O. Gin’s 2 underage friend brought 2 underage male friend.. as expected.. we can’t enter because the guys are underage and we are being ‘suan’ sarcastically by the door bitch... She was saying aloud,” Oh my god! They are only 15 year old and they are pleading me to let them in... My goodness...” I feel so embarrassed and so many pairs of eyes are like staring at me....

In the end, they decided to head down to Boat Quay and I decided not to... I headed home and spend my time watching bits part in DVD and read a couple of sentences on my storybook...

That is how I spend my day....

Dec 24,  Friday

Working half day in office. Everyone was in x’mas mood... I’m counting down to 1pm where I’m officially off! Was troubled about where to head to and I called up Eric. He was intending to head home after working as he is very tired but he was sweet enough to meet up with me.

On my way there, I was contemplating whether to pass the x’mas present I intended to give to Davina to him instead... Decided against it as I don’t wanna spend money buying another present...

Meet up with him in Bugis and we went for lunch in Pasta Mania... We ordered spaghetti and pizza. We were eating merrily and Jane joined us with Faye...

Faye looked very pretty with good complexion... when both of them went to ordered food... I shake my head and told Eric... “I can’t believe why will u choose Kate over Faye? Faye seems like a nice, sweet gal, less bitchy and much prettier than Kate.”  He gave me a frustrated look and said,” Stop it! I know is my mistake for not choosing Faye but is already history betwwen me & her.”

I then learned to keep my mouth shut. Faye and Jane appeared a moment later with their salad, soup & bread. I looked at them with an astonished look

and said,” That is your lunch for the day? That seems so little!”

Eric tauted me,” That is what women should eat... little meals and healthy!” Sucks... I feel so guilty seeing them eating so little while I ate so much..

I’m abit jealous to see Jane lost weight and had a slimmer waist and figure. I asked Jane whether I had put on weight and she said,” A bit... Your face is more chubbier.” AAARRRGGHHH..... that is the last thing I wanna hear....

Seeing that the time is still early, we went to shop around in Bugis... Eric gave us a bored look... he doesn’t like shopping especially with all the crowds in Bugis...

We settled down in a cafe at Liang Seah Street which is a 5 minute walk away from Bugis Junction. The place is cool!! It has those movie posters and gave a olden ‘pub-restaurant’ feel that are always being portrayed in Hollywood movies....  The restaurant resembles the one in movie ‘Pulp Fiction’... haha...

We chit chat and I’m amazed to find that Jane had went for SIA interview few days ago... I was thinking, “If Jane can get in, then I will definitely be an air stewardess!” I’m so bad!!

I departed the cafe at 6pm... taking a train to Bukit Batok to meet up with Davina. Eelvin send us to her house in his van.

There was not much to do in her house. We spend the night playing games, reading magazine, chit chatting... not a very fun ‘countdown’ christmas we had.... Shiryee called up Davina to let her know she can’t make it for the return flight and she had to spend her x’mas in KL alone. She sounded so upset and my heart goes to her... x’mas will not be so merry after all without her.

We went home at about 2am and it is quite a boring x’mas spend...

Dec 25, Saturday

X’mas Day!! I spend my day watching DVD of ‘A Midnight Clear’ starring Ethan Hawke. I had a good time goggling him on screen. I went downstairs intending to suft the net and I feel so frustrated that the computer breaks down again... Sucks Big Time!

I spent the rest of the evening sleeping.... until I received a phonecall from Shiryee. My dad woke me up from sleep and told me someone was looking for me. My instinct told me that it was Shiryee and indeed is her! She asked me whether I wanna go clubbing in Double O. Seriously, I don’t feel like clubbing as I’m so comfortable in my bed and doesn’t feel like stepping out of the house.

I was contemplating whether to go as Shiryee sounded disappointed I gave her a negative answer.

I walked around in the house and finally make up my mind to go. I didn’t wanna spend my lonely x’mas alone all in the room and rather have fun out with friends.

I reached Double O at around 11.00pm and we went in. Surprisingly, the crowds wasn’t as much as we expected. I’m surprised to see Serene there!! My ex-classmate in poly. We chatted a little and I’m amazed to learn she is working in an affiliated company as me!

We danced abit and accompanied xinjuan to the ladies. I was in the loo when I saw someone had left her handphone there. I was stunned for a moment and was considering whether to take it or return to the owner. I make up my mind to take it in the end.

I left the loo and approached Gin wanting to keep the handphone in my bag. I was on my way to loo again when I overheard a lady in black told her friend to call her handphone coz she left her phone inside. I pretended not to hear anything and left really quickly. I feel guilty about what I had done.

We danced and the music was getting boring... it was ‘R & B’ and shiryee also ‘disappeared’. Gin sms her and she replied she is talking something with Rongli. We were getting bored and decided to find shiryee downstairs. We managed to find Rongli and asked him what he is chatting with shiryee... He replied nothing and said shiryee just accompanied him & his friend and listened to their conversation thats all...

Sensing that shiryee is really drunk, we all headed home at around 2am.... Quite a boring x’mas day I had.

Photos taken at Dbl-O by their staff:

Dec 26, Sunday

Spend my whole day reading ‘Girl with Pearl Ear Ring’ & ‘How to make an American Quilt’ DVD. The movie is so touching that I cried in some scenes....

Another boring day spend at home... I’m getting more and more anti-social...

Dec 27, Monday

I’m sitting in Aslena’s computer typing this. Went to suft net for a while at the central computer. Reading Nichola’s bitch entries and I’m abit shocked and jealous to know they have patched back again... haiz...

Why can’t I move on completely? I thought I don’t love him anymore... why do I still feel jealous that Nichola & him are back together again?

It is a rare sight to see Shiryee back in Singapore ever since she is posted to KL for her work project. I’m meeting her & Gin in Outram Park and going to support Bee singing in cafe. Before that, I’m making a trip down to Esplanade to return my Thomas Harris novel, ‘Taking Lives’ novel, ‘How To make an American Quilt’ DVD & ‘A Midnight Clear DVD’.

I spend some time in the library browsing the titles and I borrowed 4 DVDs in the end. Was hesitating whether to borrow ‘Hush’ by Gwyneth Paltrow & Jessica Lange but decided that my Ethan Hawke’s movie, ‘White Fang’ wins hands down.  The other 3 movie titles I borrowed is ‘The Hours’, ‘Chocolat’ & ‘The truth about cats & dogs’.

By the time I stepped out of Esplanade library, it is already 8.15pm. My gosh! I spend nearly half an hour in the library! I rushed to meet Gin and feel so apologetic about her waiting for me for nearly 15 minutes. We bought a Taiwan pizza on our way to the cafe as I’m so hungry!

Gin told me that Shiryee is meeting us at the cafe as she had a date with Darren. We both feel worried about her as she likes Darren and her relationship with her bf is so rocky.... I’m afraid she might do foolish things and two-time the guys...

I ordered a Japanese Bento set while watching Bee performing away. I was gazing at one of the long-hair guy and he resemblances Eddie from my polytechnic. He looks so hunky!

Shiryee arrived 1 hour later and told us the reason why she meet up with Darren. She is being frank to him and told him she got a boyfriend and ask him to give up chasing her... She feel so sad because she likes Darren yet can’t give up her bf-Weide too...

I think I can understand her feelings. In this society, monogamy is accepted throughout the world and if you love more than one person, you are being deemed and labeled as unfaithful... unless you are Muslim where they can accept marrying more than 1 wife.... otherwise you are being known to the whole wide world that you are a jerk/bitch!

I can sensed Shiryee still like Dareen... Oh no!!

After Bee finished her singing gig, we headed down to nearby coffeshop for a drink. Bee told me that 3 guy friends said I’m pretty and wanna get to know me better.. haha... I’m flattered by their comments.... seriously, I think I’m not really that pretty that day.. maybe I’m lucky they only spotted me in the cafe!!

Shiryee asked Darren along and it turns out to be a disappointment for us. She described Darren til he is so hunky, so interesting and so fun to be with that we are kinda disappointed that it didn’t turned out the way we expected.

Darren looks slightly a bit like Thai and Pierre-Png look-alike with tanned built, goatee and boyish puppy-doe eyed look....

He is not that good-looking as I expected. He is so shy that he seemed boring to us... nothing much to talk about.... sianz... I can’t see what’s so good about him...

We departed the place at around 1am.. by the time I reached home is already 2am.. Had to wake up mum to open the gate & door for me...

Tuesday, 28 December

Had a date with Eric. Actually I don’t feel like going because I’m quite tired.... Me being the itchy mouth, I told him I’m free today and he suggested meeting up later in the evening... is hard for me to turn him down and I went ahead despite wanting to go home very much.

Reached Orchard at around 7.15pm. Walked around and I finally get to browse some clothes in Mango store ever since they started their 50% discount. Their clothes kind of sucks and 70% are winter wear on sale.... I guess I’m late in grabbing good buys. The Mango sale is on since 23 December.

We browse through some stores and also checked out the Orchard library. Eric told me he was looking for a book and I accompanied him to  the computer for searching book titles. I was shocked to see he typed in, “Angela’s Ashes”! That was the book I wanted to borrow too! I think Eric & I had some kind of connections sometimes. I managed to find my ‘Bridget Jones Diary’ finally and also browsed through the Chinese storybook section. I’m keen to borrow ‘The Red Chamber’ which is a very famous Chinese literature. Eric gave me a look when he heard about it and told me he can’t imagine someone like me will read such an artistic book....

We settled our dinner in KFC and I treated Eric for his dinner. We headed down to Checkers Cafe for some drinks before heading home.

I feel that Eric is my soulmate sometimes but yet I’m afraid of getting too involved with him. He is my best male friend where I will share all my thoughts and secrets with.

He is someone that I’m comfortable with and I’m glad to stay as good friends with him for 3 years. I do question myself whether I like/love him but I’m afraid that being getting involved with him in a relationship will ruin my friendship with him. What happens if we are no longer a couple together? Will we be able to remain as close as before and remain as close friend too?

 I do love him in certain extend as a friend and I really care about him. I find that I’m preventing myself from falling in love with anyone at the moment...

Wednesday, 29 December

Nearly had an unhappy encounter with my colleague Ruying. I think I’m a little too harsh and too critical of her. I’m supposing in-charge of the upcoming New Year Talk and in future she will be the one handling all the talks.

I don’t know why but I keep on wanting to do all the tasks for the New Year Talk and preferably handling it all by myself instead of teaching her. I guess I might be selfish in a way... I realize that the talk will ‘clash’ with my Flea Mart event as I need 2 days in advance to prepare the rooms for Flea Mart. Hence,  the New Year Talk will have to shift to another venue instead.

Ruying came over to my table wanting to ask me to teach her how to stop accepting people for the talk. I told her there is no need to as I’m changing the location of the venue to another place. She seemed unhappy and send a message to my computer.

“Setup for fleamart cannot be done after talk? y? is it because we do not have manpower or not enuff time? (i just need to know for info)”

She sounded a bit harsh in her message and I feel bad and guilty at that moment in time. I send her 3 replies and apologize to her for not informing her earlier. She never replied in the end & I thought she is angry.

We spoke and all matters seems resolved after I instructed her to print out more registration forms for her events.

I find that I should treat her nicely. She is an executive after all and 2 ranks higher than me anyway... Treating her harshly will makes me suffer in future... I must change my attitudes towards her....

Wednesday 22 December 2004

Sitting in Aslena’s table with Cindy beside me. My computer at my desk had break down and hence had to do my work in Aslena’s desk (she is on MC for 2 weeks for having chicken pox) Kenny from IT came and told me my computer is having problem and he is taking it back to HQ for repair... Sucks.. quite alot of my files are saved in my desktop....  I worried about him discovering my blog entries in my desktop. I had a habit of writing my diary and saving it on my computer’s desktop when I got nothing much to do during working hours...

Going for salsa dance later.... was contemplating whether to make a trip down to Esplanade Library to borrow some DVDs... see how it goes..

Tuesday 21 December

Finding that I’m not doing much at work. Partly due to the fact that my computer breaks down. It has been down since Monday. Hence, I had to make shift at Aslena’s table temporarily. Finding that I’m not very friendly towards Ruying. I don’t know why but I feel threatened by her presence. Maybe because she is pretty and around my age too and she is in executive level while I’m in non-executive level. Feeling a tinge of jealousy which is not a good thing... Looking at the bright side, maybe I can motivate myself and do better in my work

I went to work today with a feeling that I forgotten to bring something but yet can’t recall exactly what items I need to bring. It is only when I reached office and saw lots of presents displaying under the X’mas tree and then I realise what items I had forgotten. I forget to bring my boss’s x’mas present! Shit! AAAARRRRGGGHHHH.... today is the exchange x’mas gifts day plus x’mas lunch for our club’s staff and I forgotten all about it!

I ran to Janet and told her I forgotten to bring. She nagged at me saying boss is a petty person and if I never give him present today, he will show a black face to everyone. I initially wanted to give the present to him tomorrow but after hearing what Janet had said, I decided to sacrisfy something... I ended up giving away a Hard Rock Cafe short glass that Guoyi gave to me as a gift he bought all the way from Sweden! Aaarrgghh... it was a painful decision because I really liked the gift plus it has sentimental value. Guoyi bought this for me specially in Sweden and I feel so bad about it. I sms Guoyi, lied and said my brother loved the short glass and whether he could purchase another one on my behalf and I would paid him the amount. He said he will keep a lookout for me when he is in overseas.

I gift-wrapped the present and was literally not concentrating on my work and was counting down to 12pm where the x’mas lunch will take place! Ann took an effort to prepare some x’mas food such as smoked ham, shepard pie etc... wow...

    & nbsp;      & nbsp;   &n bsp;

I went 3 rounds to grab the food! Can u imagine? Actually I wanna make a few more rounds since I’m not really full but I’m embarrassed to take so many plus other front liners had not eat yet. Had to restraint myself from taking anymore.

We took some pictures and I don’t looked nice in almost all the pics. =(

I chatted with Janet after working hours and ended up almost late for my ‘Body Beautiful’ package I won from Singapore Woman’s Weekly Magazine. Before that, I need to meet up with a flowerpodder as she is keen in buying my Maybelline’s eyeshadow. My appointment time with the lady is supposed to be 7.30pm but I ended up meeting her at 8pm. The lady looked quite mature and I suspect she is in her 30’s. I’m actually quite surprised because usually the pooders who bought items from me over flowerpod website looked very young and are all in their teen’s or early 20’s.

I rushed off to my ‘Body Beautiful’ appointment after passing the eyeshadow to her and I was afraid she might be suspecting something is wrong with the eyeshadow and I’m escaping away quickly after taking the money.

I was frantically trying to search for Shaw building. I went to Shaw House and was stunned to find they don’t have 27^th floor! I panicked and asked one of the passser-by. She suggested that the venue I’m looking for might be in another building which is the very building for Isetan Shaw Plaza. I went to their building which caters lifts up to office lobby. Entered the lift and stunned to find the lift buttons only indicate till 26th floor.

As I’m running late, I don’t care anymore and rushed into the lift. I alighted at 26^th floor and proceeded to search for an exit entrance with staircase and thought I could went up to 27^th floor by climbing up the staircase. I was stunned once again when I found that there wasn’t any staircase in the exit sign that leads to 27^th floor. I proceeded to take the next lift and feel relieved when I saw they had 27^th floor buttons stated in the lift.

I tried pressing the 27^th floor button but the lift just doesn’t go up. The down arrow appeared and it shows the lift is intending to go down instead. After waiting for around 20 seconds, luckily it appeared the up arrow indicating it is going up and I finally reached the venue - Inner Harmony Spa centre.

The place smelled of aromatherapy and essential oil. I was lead to a chair with a table in front of me and asked to fill out a questionaire about myself.

I filled up fast and waited there for about 10minutes before a beauty consultant came over and talked to me and explaining their programmes before I went for my ‘Body Beautiful’ treatment.

My impression of ‘Body Beautiful’ package is massage with essential oil but it turned out to be a slimming session instead. I was lead to a small room by another beauty consultant and was given a towel and disposable panties.

I changed quickly and the consultant came in proceeding to take measurements of my arms, thighs, waist etc. She asked me whether could I take off the towel and I did so. I’m standing with my bra and disposable panties while the consultant did my measurement. Feel abit embarrassed and I should have worn a nice looking bra instead. The bra I’m wearing is a nude Wacoal bra that is one cup bigger and hence it appeared loose.

I laid down on the bed and the consultant applied cooling slimming gel onto a pad and secured it with straps. She applied on my arms, calfs, thighs, waist, hip and after I’m ready, she switched on a machine. I can feel huge vibrations on the area that she applied the slimming gel and attached with a strap. I felt uncomfortable and the consultant explained the machine is trying to burn off the stubborn fats in my body. She did a head massage for me which lasted about 1 minute and explained abit on the slimming programme. Her tone sounds monotonuous and boring. I had a feeling she is lack-lustre and can’t be bothered,

After 30minutes, she switched off the machine and took a damp towel and wiped off the slimming gel. The slimming session is done and she proceeded to take my measurements again. There are some areas she reported to me that I had slimmed down by 1cm but I doubt so. But I admit I indeed feel a little lighter and not sure is it due to all the vibrations I had encountered that I ‘psychologically feel lighter’.

I changed into my clothes and was lead to the same waiting area. The beauty consultant whom attended to me first recommended packages for me and asked me whether am I interested to sign up with them. She was not pushy and I told her I wanted to consider. She never asked me the reason and gave me her name card straightaway. I’m impressed! Maybe I can consider going to their massage treatment next time. It only cost $68 for 55minutes.... Cost is quite reasonable plus it is situated at town area.