Nov 24, Wednesday

Mambo Night! Yeah~ Had a date with Yanyi, Celine, Benny, Wenlong and my salsa pal-Adrian after my salsa course.

Wenlong came over to Tanjong Pagar to meet me and I took him to Salsa Bar in Union Square. I asked for his comments and he told me it is a pretty cool place to chill out. Ha…

Benny arrived and send us to Zouk. It was real crowded inside and I’m in the mood for partying! I guess the glass of beer I had in Union Square keeps the ball rolling for partying!

I drank several sips from Wenlong’s jars of Long Island Tea and I’m tipsy, drunk and real high! I danced like a chao ah lian and siao char bo!

I did enjoyed myself and I nearly knocked out after walking out of Zouk. I was vomiting in Benny’s car and I had trouble and making myself faking and acting sober. They had a hard time sending me home as they didn’t know how to go to my house. The last thing I know, I was lying on my sofa and my parents scolding me for drinking too much.

I’m making a fool of myself in front of the guys…

I called up the next morning apologizing for my behaviour and actions to Benny and Wenlong. I feel jealous when Benny expressed interest in Yanyi. To make things straight, I’m not interested in Benny but I just don’t like guys having an interest in Yanyi. I would rather they choose Celine. I guessed I’m pretty much jealous of Yanyi… I think I’m much prettier than her but I just don’t understand why guys would prefer to choose and woo her instead. I think I can’t forget the Herman incident and have been jealous of Yanyi ever since… Oh god! That is bad!!! Feeling jealous over your good friends!

I feel that I’m leading an extraordinarily crazy life. My life now revolve around partying, going out and hanging out late. I’m just a childish kid that doesn’t know how to think and wasting money on alcohol, clubs, pubs and entertainment!

Wed, Nov 24

Feeling a bit stressed out...over my work. There are alot of last minute changes and targets to meet. Feeling the anxiety and fear in my job... Is that a bad sign? My event is sometimes too unpredictable that I worry excessively. I worry about what happen if there is a cork up? What happen if it rains? What happen if members complain?

That is the nature of my job. Events job is always unpredictable.... that is what I like and hate about the job... I’m a worrier and always worry for nothing. Lousy at planning things and can’t be able to foresee what will actually happen during the event itself. Am I really suitable in doing events?

Monday, Nov 22

Does anyone dreaded about going to work & always drag themselves out of bed unwillingly to go to their workplace? I feel the same way as most people do and that is the state of feeling I’m feeling right now. I guessed must be the Monday blues I’m suffering in this early Monday morning.

Didn’t sleep well last night. Was up the whole night busy sufting net for Ethan Hawke’s information. You may think I’m crazy and yeah~ I also feel so. You might wanna ask why would you spend so much time on someone that doesn’t even know u exist in the world? Well.. I don’t know. It is some kinda of obession or hobby for me i guess.. haha.... I like Ethan Hawke since his Gattaca days which is about 7-8 years ago? My obsession on him is on a on-off basis but I do like him and support most of his film during these past 7-8 years..... It pains me to see that he is suffering and alone since his separation with Uma Thurman. It dawned on me on what is love again? It is such a painful, complex issue and you must make sacrifice and lots of hard work & effort for it to work. I read somewhere in articles that Uma & Ethan both still loved each other but it is just that their day-to day life issues doesn’t worked out..... Isn’t it sad? Imagine you loved someone but yet always end up quarrelling over & over again on same problem, same issue..... abit similar to Shiryee’s & Weide’s current state of relationship. Relationship will definitely strained because of constant quarrelling, frequent out-of town and their love got fizzled out since they didn’t see each other quite often..... When a relationship doesn’t work, the other party always feel tempted to seek for love outside which he/she had been lacking of from their significant other. That is why having an affair is so common in the world....That sucks.. I wouldn’t like to see this happen but we all humans make mistake. I think I might also do the same if I’m in this situation...

Having thoughts on quitting my job... let me see... I have been in this job for about 7 months only and I keep having these kinda thoughts..... I wanna ask myself why I have the thoughts and myself wasn’t quite too sure. I think I dread meeting dateline, targets and planning & coming up with some new, creative ideas. Isn’t all the job exactly the same in this fucking world? I feel incapable of doing event as I feel that I always cork up my events and seriously deep down inside, I’m a very disorganized person. How can a disorganized person plan events for others when she can’t even plan simple things for herself?

I don’t know what I want & yet I’m lazy to switch my job. Yes.. lazy updating my resume, sending resumes out, going for interviews etc... Do I need a long holiday break? I find that I don’t work hard enough to deserve a holiday break... Am I an irritating person? Yes I do...and always piss the hell out of people with my incapability of making up my mind.

I feel vulnerable in this adult world... I told Shiryee over the phone the other day about how I feel... She commented that I’m an extremely nice gal and I told her it doesn’t pay to be nice gal. At some point of time,  I do hope I can be more evil, bitchy, heartless. I’m too nice till people take me for granted, being bullied...  I think I’m out of my mind ....

Nov 18, Thursday

Meet up with Eric after my work. He agreed to watch Before Sunset with me. Yeah~ I had been wanting to watch this movie very much. Before meeting him, I had to borrow VCDs for my movie event on Saturday and hence arrived exactly on the dot to meet him.

When I saw Eric, hmm.. find that he become better looking.. maybe is the way he style his hair.. haha.. it has been nearly 4-6 months since I last meet him? We are both busy and never really have time to 'entertain' each other but he is still one of my closest guy friend.

Before Sunset is indeed a very nice movie and deserved the four star ratings that all movie critics are giving!! It is a sweet romance movie and I loved it to bits is because of all the meaningful dialogues they conversed thrughout the entire movie! I would seriously recommend it to anyone!

After movie, Eric & I had late dinner in Burger King. We chit chatted and he told me all his woes and frustration in his work.. Well, i do have frustrations too but in comparison to him. I think I'm much luckier than him....

He told me lots about his dating history and his love woes... I'm amazed and wondered aloud why he never told me til now? His amazing flirtatious dating history lasted for about a year and I'm being kept in the dark all along.

He expressed regret in hurting and choosing a not worthy gal in the end. He didn't handled the situation well when there are two gals fighting for his attention and most importantly his heart. I feel 'heart pain' when I heard his story... I'm his good friend and would love to see him getting happily attached to a nice gal. But in the end? He made a wrong move and give up a good gal instead.... Sigh... I also told him he is a jerk for treating and hurting the nice gal from all his actions he had done...

Are all guys blinded by love and always end up regreting in giving up a nice gal? We humans never treasured a true love until it is lost forever.......so ironical.....

He further relates he is losting track on how to chase a gal... He always treat a gal nice, cross over the friends borderary and ends up either hurting someone or is entirely unrequited love from his side... I feel affected by what he says and can only consoled him by saying maybe God wants him to experience all this before he found the true love.

We talked about 3am before we headed home. I need to work tomorrow and I had less than 3 hours sleep. Gosh!

Nov 19, Friday

Hanged around in my workplace a bit longer than usual. Supposingly to go home after 6.15pm but I'm clearing my stuff. Called up shiryee after she send an sms to me. We ended up chit chating and also catching up with each other.

I asked her about her relationship with Weide. It has hit rock bottom and their status is very shaky currently. I'm worried about her. She told me she has feelings for another guy-Darren after going out with him for only 2 dates. Initially I wanted to scold her why is she cheating on Weide and she explained she is not and her relationship with Weide has turned soured before she meet Darren. That is true anyway. I patiently listen to her side of story and agreed with her. She told me of what is her boss opinion in the relationship(she shares her story with her boss)

Even if Darren is not the guy who comes along but is another guy instead who showers her with lots of attention, love & care, It is easy for Shir to stray and be unfaithful to her partner.

Cheating is usually the easiest way to get out of a troubled relationship. Humans like to run away from the problems in relationship and seeking solace in another new budding relationship. That is the most irresponsible act but yet it is one of the most temptatious action. Who will reject any love, care, attention by someone else when you need it the most?

I advised Shir to think carefully and she might just have a lust for Darren instead coz he happens to be there for Shir at the right timing. I feel dishearted by what I heard from Eric & Shir. Love is such a complex matter & it is so hard to grapple with.

Nov 20, Sat

Had a major corck up in my event. I thought I had fully prepared for my movie event and yet it gets corked up. Minutes before the movie starts, I realised that the sound system is not working and there is no sound from the VCD that I had played. I got so panic and John-lifeguard helped me out with it. Turns out that the channel needs to be tuned correctly and as I'm using a different player(they changed to VCD player instead of DVD player) the channel used is also different.

I feel so incompetent and incapable of handling events... I feel so dishearted and I get affected by Audrey's comments," You have been in-charge of movie event for so many time yet you are so unfamiliar with the sound system?" I agreed I'm blur and know nuts about anything relating to sound system and euiptments in the theatrette... I'm angry with myself for being such a sotong head......

I thanked god for helping me to solve the problems and make the movie event went on smoothly.

I returned the VCD in Simei after the event before I meet up with Davina, Bee, Eelvin & Davina's house mate back in Australia. We had our dinner in Sushi Tei... Yummy` My favourite Japanese restaurant!

I treated myself with numerous plates of raw salmon, fish & tuna. I'm a sucker for raw thingy especially in Japanese cuisine.. haha! =P

Shir came and meet up later & ends up she is quarrelling with Weide again! She joined us for KTV session in K-box and we belted out lots of Chinese pop song and had fun til 4am....

I calculated that I had spend $50 in entertainment for one day alone! Hmm... I thought I had embarked on my saving journey to University's Mass Communication Course? With the rate I'm spending my money, I guessed I had to wait 30years to save enough for my university school fees... =(

Nov 16, Tuesday

Warning: Super duper boring bog!

Weather is gloomy & dark.... November weather is wet, wet & wet! Feeling boring at work and nothing to do... Actually I did have some work stuff to do.. just that I’m procrastinating it... which is an extremely bad habit that I had cultivated since young..... I am always procrastinating my stuff, work, personal life, goals etc.....

I wanted to go watch Before Sunset by Ethan Hawke. Sms Eric & Shiryee asking them out.... Shiryee have an appointment and can’t meet me for movies & I think Eric also cannot make it.....

I’m contemplating whether to watch this movie alone? I would love to swoon over him alone in the theatre and fanaticize I’m the female lead in the movie. Someone did ask me before why am I so crazy over Ethan Hawke.... I like him is because he is a passionate actor who believes and lives for art, shunning away from commercial films and typical ‘popcorn movies’. He is an actor who works hard but nobody notices his effort and being labelled pretentious by media. I believe he has a hard time last year with his much publicized separation from his wife Uma Thurman. I loved both of them and always thought they are one of the golden couple in Hollywood.

It is a pity that the marriage turned sour. There are rumours spreading he is cheating on Uma. I personally believes is true.... which guy in the world will be able to resist temptation even though he is married to one of the most beautiful woman in Hollywood? Good examples are Bill Clinton, Prince Charles, David Beckham and many more. I admit I do lose some respect for him andfeel kinda disappointed with him but I still admired his talent for acting, writing, stage performance and his passion for learning things.....

All I hope right now is that he is happy currently & doesn’t regret for whatever actions he had done. I’m not sure whether are Uma & Ethan both heading for divorce but I wished them all their best in their future endeavours.

Yours truly,

 Ethan Hawke’s die-hard fan from Singapore

Nov 13, Sat

Slagged about the house for nearly half a day before I decided to went out during evening time to meet up with shiryee in Changi Airport and to meet up Davina who is catching flight back to Singapore.

Feeling a bit bored, decided to 'vamp-up' my image. Paired myself with a Bohemian top & mini demin skirts with super high URS heels.. I think it is about 4 inches tall? Actually I don't really like dressed up as sex-kitten look because I have a 'wildful & ah lian' look. By dressing up as sex-kitten and sex bomb-shell gaves people false impression that I'm cheap.. anyway, since I'm going clubbing later.. no harm be caught in scantily-clad outfit.. =P

Reached my company first to settle something. My wakeboarding event happen tomorrow and I need to collect all the participant's name etc... Peggy saw me and asked whether am I going on a date.. haha...

Took a bus to airport and reached there at around 8plus. I gave a call to Shiryee and she asked me to meet her at Macdonald. I was on my way when I received an sms from her.. she said she quarrelled with her boyfriend and asked me to meet up with Eelvin first. Not again~

I hanged out at the bookshop and was happily browsing theough magazines and shiryee called again apologizing and meeting me in somewhere. I was on my way and saw Gin. We both walked over to find shiryee and she seemed to be in a cheerful state. She is always excellent in concealing her true feelings and always put on a cheerful front as she doesn't want everyone to worry about her.

We waited a while & saw Davina's parents. Davina came out and we stopped by for a small chat before she headed home to put all her luggage. Gin, shiryee, weide and me proceeded to Swesen and we ordered lotsa food. Imagine we had to finish our main course, chef salad, 2 french fries plus 1kg of mango ice cream cake among 4 person(celebrate shiryee's birthday which falls on 15) & I'm not even hungry in the first place!

After our 'binge' feast in Swesen, we went to Double O for a fun night of drinking fuelled by laughter & craps. Haha... Davina joined us and we tried lotsa alcohols and Flaming Lamborgini! Whoa~

It was a fun night but it is a pity that I didn't spot any eligible cute and hunky guys in Double O.  =(

Nov 14, Sun

Reluctantly woke up at around 7am. Prepared myself and knocked on my parent's bedroom door. I wanted my dad to drove me to Sengkang where I will be present for my first wakeboarding event.

On our way, I gave him wrong directions and he keep on nagging at me non-stop.. My god! I hate that and feel like shouting at him but I supress my urge to do that. I called up the person twice before we finally able to find the correct venue.

I reached there and interacted with a few of the participants. When I saw them jumpred into the boat and getting ready for wakeboarding event... I really feel like wakeboarding together with them! Aarrgghh.. never mind, I will ask Wenlong, Aloysius to join me... haha...

I sit around and read my Ethan Hawke's novel before deciding to go off early.

Intending to hit the gym in my company as there are still 2 hours away from my appointed time with Yanyi. When I reached my club, found that my office door is locked and all my gym gears and shoes are in it.. Sucks! Lazy to call jackpot staff to help me opened the door and decided to go Pasir Ris earlier to meet Yanyi.

I meet up with Yanyi about 3pm.We do some shopping before going to Escape Theme Park. The crowd there was alright and I enjoyed myself and tried some fun rides such as Viking, Wet & Wild, Go-Kart etc....

We left at around 8pm and Yanyi told me one secret. She said she did date Herman before when she was in Year 1 for 3 months. She confirmed my suspicion all along. I had a crush on Herman when I was in Year 1 and I believed Herman had slight liking on me too. That was until we went out as a group and she teaches him sign language she learn... from that day onwards, Herman showered her with lotsa attention and I was pissed off with her.

I complained to Yuhui whom was my best friend at that time and I felt Yanyi suspects Herman likes me and deliberately makes her fall for her... anyway I just had a crush on Herman and it dies down after 2 months. I'm glad I never had one step further thaan friendship with Herman because I feel he is boring and abit disgusting... haha..... Yanyi said I was the first one on the gang to know but I don't think so. From her body languages and gestures, I knew I'm the last one in the group to know.

I think Yanyi suspects I liked Herman in year 1 and hence doesn't wanna reveal this secret to me. I don't like Herman anymore and all is in the past. I think I like too many guys and Herman is just one of the guys I had cushes on... haha.... Mabelline sms me to join them for karaoke but I rejected... I'm too tired and all I wanna do is to go home & sleep.... I'm deprived of sleep!

Nov 15, Mon

Remembering is Shiryee's birthday today and send a birthday greeting to her. She replied back and she was touched that I remember her birthday.. Nah.. is small gestures to show her that I care for her as a friend...

I spend my time reading magazines, slacking around and sleeping... I like this! I'm a super-duper lazy pig and my favourite past time is slacking around...

Surfed the net and read some of my friend's blog. I was reading one of the girl's blog entry(she is my friend's friend and I don't really know her) and she wondered aloud who reads her blog... I'm one of her 'fan' and will read her blog as she writes in a sacastic and humorous way.. haha..

I shared the same sentiments with her and wondered does anyone follows my blog religiously? It is kind of scary because I don't know anything about the person who reads my bog and yet he/she knows everything under the sun about me... *Shiver*

The reason I wanna start a blog isn't because I wanna 'show' off to people about my life, and my writing skills. I personally think my blog is boring and I like to keep it private. I never reveal my perosnal blog to anyone even my close friends because this blog holds some of my darkest secret and blashing about them(when I super pissed off with them)... I don't want to be caught dead scolding them 'pig-head', bastards, mother-fucker and being discovered!

Nov 8 ,  Monday

Was involved with my company’s award presentation event rehearsal. Deployed for duties and I’m being put in-charge of lightings and registration. I’m amazed by the fact that the role I’m having -Lighting person is so important and have to redo rehearsal for so many times.... They are very particular about the lightings and it  must be switch off at the right time when the Guest Of Honour went on stage to give a speech, when all the guests are watching the video etc.... it is something we take from granted, hardly paid any attention to it and any cock up of lightning make such a big difference in an event...

Nov 9, tuesday

Actual day of the company’s award presentation event and I reached the club early at around 10.30am. Noticed that I’m the first one to reach there. Isn’t the rehearsal supposed to start at 10.30am? Sheessshh... they are always late! I have been involved with meetings from all the clubs from different branch and they always arrive late... Worst thing? They don’t even apologize... Next time, I will make sure I won’t be like a goondu sitting around and waiting for them anymore!

Actual rehearsal starts officially at around 11.30am and ends at nearly 1pm. We had lunch in a posh Chinese restaurant courtesy from my company....

Slacked around, helped out with some last minute administration work while waiting the actual event to start at 7pm officially.

My registration role is to usher guests to register at a booth situated near the staircase and to prevent guests from going up the venue without registering. I find that my role is redundant as I’m like a ’flower vase’ on display. Standing in a corner, smiling and directing guests to the right direction. Feel so ‘extra’!

Audrey came to find me and want  me to take over some of her roles... I ended up being an usher and have to direct guests to their waiting area while awaiting for their prize presentation moments on stage. My company is very particular about it and places a lot of emphasis on ushering because they doesn’t want to miss out any guest whose names are being called out on stage and in the end, no sigh of the guest.... it will caused embarrassment to both the guest and our club. For that instance, I feel very stressed because I have never seen the guests before and have to memorize their names, faces and their seating area. If the guests decided to change seats without informing anyone... then too bad! The poor person will have a hard time finding the guest.

I was so ‘kan cheong’ and eager to called out one of the guest and direct him to his waiting area. In the end, I find it is a wee bit too early and Alvin has to direct him back to his seat and asked him to come back to the waiting area around 10 minutes later. Sucks.

The ushering went on quite smoothly until the last guest where I could not locate him at all! I panicked and asked the person sitting next to the empty seat does he have any idea where does the guest went to... the person turns his head and I had a shock of my life! It turns out that I had asked the President of my company that question! Aargghhh!!

Luckily the guest was right behind me and I didn’t get to interact much with the President. Otherwise, I will be stoned to the ground and mumbling away....

The event finally ends at around 9.30pm. I had a good time indulging myself with good food such as lobsters, shark fins, abalone etc and unlimited supply of red wine. I had quite a number of glass and I feel rather tipsy and more sociable than usual.

I was so tipsy and tired that I missed my bus stop when I went home and had to alight immediately and boarded a cab after that. I also pucked and vomitted all the yucky stuff out when I reached home.  Imagine I had to work the next day! I definitely will suffer from hangover.

Nov 10 Wednesday

Have a throbbing headache when I woke up. Must be all the glasses of red wines that I had been drowning myself with the previous night.

Was in a dilemma and don’t know whether to go for work. Finally decided to go work since I had unclear stuffs to finish.

Had a boring day in office. Kelvin & I went out to do purchasing for refreshments during our lunch hour. We rewarded ourselves with set lunch from Cafe Cartel. Aarrgghh... there goes down my diet plan that I had started for only 2 days and all went down the drain.. =(

Found that Kelvin is slightly more chatty towards me. Maybe is due to the fact that we had a ‘heart to heart’ talk few days ago.

Feel abit down as I don’t know where to hang out after work. It is Deepavali public holiday the next day and I just don’t feel like going home so early.  I sms all my friends asking them whether they wanna go Mambo Zouk and none of them are interested. I then sms Wenlong & Benny whether they are keen to go and surprisingly they agreed.

I proceed to meet up with Jean after work before meeting the guys and hitting Zouk. I was a bit suspicious why was Jean quite eager to meet me. My initial suspicious was that she had become insurance agent and purposely asked me out to purchase all insurance policy from her.

My sentiments was half correct. She did have a ’motive’ for asking me out. She handed me an envelope and told me I’m invited for her Chinese wedding customary lunch in hotel....  No wonder she wanna meet me up...

She told me that her wedding will be held on 12 Dec and too bad! I can’t make it. I had an event on that day and can’t excuse myself from that event just to attend her wedding. Besides that, I’m not super close to her anyway.

I ended my conversation with Jean early and thought I was late for my appointment with the guys until they sms me that they will be late. Haiz...

Proceeded up to Wisma Atria and did my makeup in the toilet til the guys called me. We met and took a bus to Zouk. The queue for awaiting bus 16 is freaking long and it takes very long for the bus to arrive. We had to shove and squeeze among the people to get in the bus. It was ‘packed like sardines’! Ha…

When we arrived at the destination…. The queue was FUCKING long… I had anticipated that so is no surprise…. Benny met his friends there and we decided to change venue to Devil’s Bar. I’m not so keen on Devil’s coz I don’t like the atmosphere, crowd and music there. I think all the discos and pubs in Orchard all cannot make it…. Mohammad Sultan and Zouk still rocks!

Mabelline called me at this time and she persuaded me to join her in Madam Wong. Great!! I love Mohammad Sultan and won’t hesitate to agree. Wenlong also likes the idea because he loves Madam Wong….. haha.. only Benny don’t quite agree since he has agreed to join his friends in Devil’s Bar.

In the end, he gave in and off we went to Madam Wong… Yeah~

The queue at Madam Wong was shorter and we got in after waiting for about 15minutes. Met Mabelline there and we had some crazy, fun night out.

We danced all the way til 4am and proceeded to Newton Circus to have our supper. Ordered lotsa seafood and the bill amounted to $90 plus! Gosh!

Mabelline was amused that Wenlong keep on placing food on my plate and he asked him whether he likes me… I think both of us got stunned by her words and he gave some lame excuses and got away with it.. Haha… he is great and excellent at talking crap and getting away with it….  I don’t know whether Wenlong is interested in me and I don’t even care... I like being single and no guys had really captured my heart yet… I suddenly dread going into a relationship permenantly… Relationship is such a hassle and it is so messy to get out of it too! Am I weird?

We took a cab back home and went I arrived home at my house. It is already 8am in the morning! !Home Sweet Home! I had some moments of my precious sleep before heading to Mani’s house for Deepavali celebration.

Nov 11 Thursday

Woke up at 11am and quickly took a shower, get changed and asked my brother to send me to the nearest bus stop.

It took about 45 minutes to finally reached Mani’s house because I’m a direction idiot and was searching for her block for about 15minutes. Otherwise I will arrived much earlier.

Janet, Carol, Audrey, Boss and some other frontliner staff are already there. Whoa~ they are early man! I had my lunch and can’t stop myself from eating the desserts and all the chocolate cookies! I’m simply going crazy into chocolates these days… I think my diet plan has to put on hold yet again… Hmm…

Went to meet up with Yanyi & Celine in Wild Wild Wet again and finally we get to play in Wild Wild Wet. We quickly changed into our bikini suit and finally I had the chance to parade around and let my bikini be seen in the daylights! Haha…….

We took some photos of ourselves in bikini and asked the lifeguard there to help us took a picture. 

3 bikini-clad babes posing in front of Wild Wild Wet  =P

We tried some slides and we got frustrated because for every slide we wanna play, gotta wait about 30 minutes and we wasted a hella lot of our time waiting & waiting!

Intending to proceed to Escape Themepark after Wild Wild Wet but we are too late. The tickets counter has already closed… =(

In the end, we ended up in Coffe Bean chit chatting til about 11plus then is home sweet home.

Nov 12 Friday

Doesn’t feel like working. Still in those holiday mood. It is really an unproductive day for me. Been pratically smsing Benny, Wenlong for half the day….

Received an email from club manger in other branch. The email stated that I called him back & he wanna checked with me about something. My herat was pounding and I was wondering whether I did anything wrong? I called him up immediately and he asked me what did I exactly spoke to our President of the club during the company's award ceremony. I told him I casually asked him where is the guest sitting next to him that's all. I probed him why he aske me that and he said someone saw me talking to the President and wanna check what have I been talking to him about.

I feel that I had 'woken up' from my daze... So everyone has been spying on me all along. I thought I have been quite low profile in the company. I was suspecting whether did anyone 'sabotage' me by revealing that I had spoken to President during the dinner. I remembered I did told to 4 people that I spoke casually asked the President about the guest's whereabout that's all. I feel that I must be careful in my actions in future. The club manager gave me a piece of advise saying next time maybe I can ask someone about the guest whereabout instead of the President.

Had a date with Shiryee after work. Went to Toa Payoh to return DVDs and I super pissed off that the salesgirl seemed reluctant to lend DVDs to me. Saying that I need to place $20 deposit when I borrow the DVDs because I lived very far.. what kind of crap is this?? I know I always return DVDs late but does that mean chasing away customers like this? I proceed to question her that the other branch Novena Square doesn’t have these sick rules and she said it is their policy over here in Toa Payoh… I’m gonna boycott the Toa Payoh store and she is gonna get a complaint from me… Super irritating…. Spoilt my mood for the next few hours…

I made a call to Shiryee and realized she is asleep! She will be super late when she coming to meet me but I’m not pissed with her.. I’m far more pissed off with the stupid Toa Payoh store rather than her….Go to library in Toa Payoh to find books and alas! I’m glad I found Ethan Hawke’s book – Ash Wednesday!

 ~Yeah!! I’ve been finding this for quite some time!!

Shiryee arrived in Citihall and we went to NYDC and had our fill. We ordered Farmboy Salad(my favourite and I had been wanting to eat this for the longest time), pizzaz and mudpie! Whoa~ sinful, sinful! Gin & weide joined us and they keep teasing me and Ben(he is not around)…. I suspect Ben has an liking for me because Shiryee keep saying he came to meet us last time in Cheeker’s Café because of someone by the surname of Wong( which is mine and I’m the only Wongs in the group) So obvious right? Anyway, I brushed it off and doesn’t even wanna think about this. Even if he is interested in me, I’m not ready to go into a relationship…. besides he is a year younger than me and I doesn’t wanna date younger guys anymore!

Watched ‘The Invincibles’ after our sinful treat in NYDC café and the show is damn hilarious! Haha….

They all went home after the movie and I hanged around in Cityhall around for a while longer. I called my brother and he said he will be picking me up in 30minutes time… ended up? I need to wait for him for nearly an hour… Holy Christ! No choice lah… who asked me to be super broke & stingy to save $$ for cab and wanting a free ride from my brother?

Nov 8, Monday

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Nov 7, Sunday

Currently Reading:

Silence Of The Lamb By Thomas Harris

Was lying on the bed watching 'He Is a Man, She is a Woman 2' starring Leslie Cheung, Anita Mui & Anita Yuen. This is quite an old flick but I'm still enjoying it as it is quite rare to catch 2 deceased HK superstar acted together in the movie....

Time is 00.45am on Sunday morning... I realised I forgotten to sms Mabelline(my ex colleagues from part time job) that I'm not going to celebrate her birthday in K-box. She invited me to celebrate her birthday in K-box with her other friends earlier of the day. I don't feel like going as I don't know any of her friends....

I forward the sms to Alvin & he called meimmediately. I answered & he said he will be coming over to pick me up. I don't feel like going but since I got free ride to & fro to the place... why not?

Hence I get ready in 10minutes putting on minmy godinal makeup, doing my hair and choosing my outfit. Alvin arrived at around 15minutes later and I hopped into his van.

He asked me whether I got informed my parents that I'm going out... I glanced at his clock devise in his van & said:" For goddness sake! Look at what is the time now? My parents are sound asleep and I won't want to wake them up!"

We arrived at K-box in Cineleisure at around 1.20am. Saw alot of unfamiliar young faces.. it is no surprise.. although Mabelline is only 1 year younger than me.. she is quite childish and always hang out with younger clinche of people....

Anyway, her group of kaki quite fun to hang out coz they are reckless, young, impulsive & crazy.... There is one occasion where Alex To's new song 'Tuo Diao' (Strip Off) was being played on the karaoke system... one of her friend said he gonna perform striptease while singing the song and before I know...... all her crazy friends surrounded the poor guy and proceeded to take off his pants & belt!! Oh my god!! :lol:

He was left with his undies and he proceeded to grab any bags he could find and covered his lower waist.......hahahahahha

They tortured the poor guy til it was about time for the birthday gal to cut her cake... & after that they all headed back home....

The whole KTV only left Alvin, Kelvin, me , Mabelline & 2 of her friends.......We were fighting over the songs and trying to 'cut queue' for they songs we had requested....We had fun til 4.30am & Alvin send me back home....... By the time I hit the bed.. is already nearly 6am..... Wow.......

Nov 7 3.30pm

Decided to head down to Orchard as I wanted to attend the Female magazine's 30th birthday bash at Wisma Atria.... I arrived at around 4.15pm & proceeded to try their free makeover by T.LCler .......... wow.... it is the first time I'm using such an expensive makeup range... their foundation alone can easily cost up to $150 & above... freaking expensive!

After that, took a trial photo of my makeover & I'm not very satisfied over it. I realised the makeup artist always likes to put on purple eyeshadow on my eyelids... it is the 3rd time I went for makeover & they all used the same colour! Sucks! I HATE PURPLE EYESHADOW... makes me look older & auntie! Yucks!

I proceeded to ask the counter staff where to place my lucky draw coupon for the 'Win A Car' draw.... & he dropped the bomb... they had already closed the registration at 3pm.... What? He explained that the coupon had stated the timing clearly & I quickly take a look... He is right and I wasted my trip here coz I wanted to win the car badly!! Anyway, all is not lost since I'm able to get free makeover plus free Nivea skincare products... not too bad...

Feeling bored, I headed to Orchard Library to borrow some books.... Intending to find Ethan Hawke's 'Ash Wednesday' novel but it is not available all over library branch in Singapore....  

In the end, I managed to borrow 1 book - Silence of the Lamb... I wanted to read this book since quite some time as my good friend in secondary school days highly recommended it to me...

I read couple of pages and it got me hooked!! I'm trying to finish the book fast as I will be getting very busy when the date getting nearer to mid November...

I will be quite busy from Mid Nov- Mid Dec... I hope I will be able to finish the book before due date!

Nov 6,

Today is my idol's-Ethan Hawke's birthday. He is turning 34 this year. I wonder is he spending his birthday alone this year? Anyway I'm lemming to watch his movie with Julie Delpy-Before Sunset.

I have never watched his pre-sequel 'Before Sunrise' and was contemplating whether to borrow DVD of 'Before Sunrise' before watching 'Before Sunset'. Otherwise I won't have any idea what the characters in the movie are talking about.

'Before Sunrise' - 1995 movie where he starred with Julie Deply

Anyway, none of my friends are interested in watching the movies as they hate indie film. I'm a sucker for indie & artsy film... Gimme any movies by Miramax Film...... I lovvee them....

I remember I used to watch Ethan Hawke's movies ALONE all the time... None of my friends are interested in his movies as they all prefer commercial movies instead and I hate to BEG someone to go watch movies with me...

Rewind to 6 years back where I'm still a gawky, pimply-prone teenager, I was busy preparing 'O' levels at that time. Everyone around me locked themselves up, studying all day long and doesn't even wanna step out of the house. 'Great Expectatation' just came out & I wanted to watch that film badly. I ended up watching, swooning over Ethan Hawke in the cinema alone. It was the first time I'm in cinema watching his film and subsequenly, I always ended up sitting alone in theatre watching his other films such as 'Hamlet' & 'Snow Falling On Cedars'.... 

    & nbsp;  

My only wish is to find a kaki whom knows how to appreciate his film... I think is hard to find another die-hard fan(beside me) of him in Singapore.

'Before Sunset' is rated 8.5 out of 10 in IMBD website... that is great! Finally some good review on Ethan Hawke beside his and numerous negative publicity on his divorce with Uma Thurman.

Reviews on Before 'Sunset':

Richard Linklater’s 1995 Before Sunrise followed Ethan Hawke’s Jesse and Julie Delpy’s Celine, who meet on a train and decide to stay together, from mid-afternoon to the following dawn, in Vienna. Before they separate—he to catch a plane to New York, she to her home in Paris—they agree to hook up in Vienna in six months. No addresses or phone numbers are exchanged. Nine years later, Linklater has reunited Jesse and Celine in Before Sunset. Jesse, now a novelist, encounters Celine, with whom he has had no contact for nine years, at a book signing in Paris. He has two hours to catch a plane, and in that time they have coffee, stroll through the streets, take a sightseeing boat down the Seine, sit in a park. Nothing much happens, and yet everything happens. For those of us who loved Before Sunrise, this sequel is a great gift. (Best to see it right after seeing, or reseeing, the first.) A lot of blather is exhaled in Hollywood about the “chemistry” of co-stars, but Hawke and Delpy (who also co-wrote the film with Linklater based on improvisations) possess it in surplus. They express all the hesitations and parries and feints of two people who are self-consciously aware of their ongoing attraction to each other. It’s a richer experience than Before Sunrise, which captured like no other movie the exhilaration of being footloose and in love in a strange place with a strange (and yet mysteriously compatible) person. In Before Sunset, Jesse at first seems pulled down by the intervening years; Celine, who crusades for environmental issues, has a beauty that has gone a bit blowsy. But as they reconnect and talk about their lives, in long, unbroken takes, they start to look they way they used to—infused with youthful ardor. The delicate Parisian sunlight anoints them. Jesse, who has a wife and 4-year-old son, tells Celine that when you are young you think you will have many deep personal connections, but later you realize there are only a few. Celine says it’s better that she no longer “romanticizes things so much anymore.” But, of course, she does. Before Sunset is infinitely sad and joyous—a small masterpiece. (1 hrs. 20 mins.; R) — PETER RAINER

Thurs, Nov 4

Received a complaint from member. I received an email from membership department stating the member complained to them as he had difficulty getting through my direct line. He complaint that I keep on sending mailers to his wrong address. The email was forwarded to Assistant General Manager and to my Boss... OH MY GOD!

I personally called up that member to apologize and also to find out more details. The member told me he called me up 2 months ago(yeah~ I rememebr him) and told me to update his records and stop sending mailers to his house. I took down his name, new address and also his family member's name at that time to update his new address inside my excel sheet database. I asked for his old address but he was unwilling to give it to me. Hence, I brushed it aside and thought I will be able to solve the problem.

Back to the topic, I asked him whether the mailers that send to his old address was addressed to him? He replied yes and I asked for his old address this time. He was reluctant to give it to me and was willing to reveal his block number and unit number thats all.... hello? How do I know where he live? He doesn't want to reveal his exact area and I had to ask him whether is he staying in Tampines last time. He muttered a soft yes.... Weird guy.. is it so difficult to let me know where he lives last time? Do I sound like those people that will go and harass people living in his old address?

Anyway, I managed to retrieve data of his old address in my excel sheet database. In my database, it stated his Christian name with his old address and another with his Chinese name and current address. Since I'm not aware that both are the same person(different address and different name with same surname mah), I send out the mailers thinking I'm sending to two different person....

I'm so suay... such a small matter and it is being 'blown up' and magnified it 100times and even the top management gets to know about this! AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH..........

Had a 'heart-to heart' talk with my colleague Kelvin. He asked me questions about my wakeboarding event today and I frumbled. I didn't do enough 'homework' beforehand and hence I'm unable to answer some of his questions. He said to me in a sacastic way I need to buck up and have to be more focus in work..... He pointed out a couple of mistakes and my weakness:

- I'm not observant enough
- I don't prepared and plan things properly before my event
- I always forget stuffs even important information
- I don't have a sense of urgency
- I'm too quiet at work and don't speak up
- I don't report everything to them and work as a indiviualised instead of working as a team.

- I don't ask them enough questions
- I'm not able to visualise and anticipate what will happen in a event

My gosh! If he didn't pin-point out, I won't know some of my weakness... I feel so sulky about myself. I told him that I feel I'm not capable enough to be a event organiser and he told me not everyone are BORN to be good in event planning. He said there are things to learn and as long as I'm ready to learn from mistakes and ensure there won't be another same mistake happening again....

Ok, point taken... I'm aiming to improve and learn to be a better worker with each and everyday...

Wed Nov 3

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  

My 4^th lesson in Salsa dance. I’m really clumpsy, having difficulties following the rhythm and beats of the music. However, it is getting more confusing as the instructor more hands styling and more fancy footsteps... it is tough but more fun... haha...  Aaron told me I’m very tense and stiff when I dance and I should relaxed my body.

Head down to Union Square to practice my salsa steps. A guy came over inviting me to dance with him and I accepted. I’m really lousy as I can’t read his signals and dance rather awkwardly with him.

I asked the guy for his name & he introduced himself as Clive and we exchanged namecards.  I asked him what is his occupation and he told me he is doing sales in Ikea... I asked him what type of sales and he said I would surely laugh it off when he revealed what he is selling.

He leaded me to his seat, opened his bag and showed me a browser. I asked him what is it about and he explained he is selling toilet bowls that can ‘wash’ our below the belt region... I couldn’t control myself and laughed loudly...since I didn’t expect him to be selling this! e said he expected me to have this reaction since alot of people reacted the same way as me. Feel a bit bad but anyway brushed it off and we become friends. I introduced my other course mates to him- Maureen, Peter & Adrian.

Maureen danced with him after me and she danced smoothly and more gracefully compared to me. Feel lousy  clumsy about myself. Peter consoled me saying Maureen has basic background in Salsa and hence able to catch and learn faster than us. I hope is not my stupidity that affects the whole thing.

Reached home about 12.15am. The cab fare alone cost $17.40.... wah.. i’m going to be very, very broke!

Nov 2, Tue

Hmm... find that i’m getting more & more sotong.. My colleagues commented that I’m famous for being sotong... sometimes I feel quite affected by what they said... although they said in a jokingly manner, it still makes me upset.

Sotong = Stupid, incapable, confused

I was thinking are there any ways for me to be less blur, more careful and improve my memory? I had trouble trying to remember things and I do mixed up and confused things quite often.

Oh God, please make me less blur ok? That is my biggest wish for 2005 resolution.

Monday Nov 1

My mood today: Gloomy like the rainy weather outside my office window.

I can’t explain why am I feeling so negative about myself today... I think is partly because I can’t find lunch kaki to have lunch with me bah... do I sound pathetic? I think so... I guess I can’t click well with most of my colleagues.. is age the factor behind it? Maybe....  I’m the youngest in the company and the topic we discussed is kinda not the ‘same frequency’.

Janet helped Aslena & Audrey to buy back lunch and never bothered to ask me what I want for lunch.....I guessed I feel kinda left out in this way..

Suddenly I feel unloved and unwanted at this moment of time... I just feel like turning my back and running away from it.

I took some time to read my past diary entries and realised I have been whining & complaining alot....I sound like such a whin baby! Why am I feeling so lousy & negative all the time? Is there something wrong with me? Will I go crazy if I goes on feeling and having negative thoughts all the time? I feel like crying at this time but I don’t even know why am I crying for....

I’m kinda lost and lost my own way in this cruel adult world.. I’m just a kid trying to grow up and adapt in this working society.....

I don’t feel like working.. I wanna go back to studies and be a kid worrying about exams, exam, exams only!

Fri Oct 29

Had a busy half day in office. I was running around like a madwoman in office trying to rush my stuff such as printing out my brochures, preparing stuffs for my next day movie event,  printing out signage and posters for Sports Fair etc. I was grumpy and moody for half the day as I feel that my colleagues like to pin point out things and I don’t feel appreciated by them sometimes.... I showed a black face to everyone even to my boss when he asked me to print out signage for carpark.

Went to SSRC recreation activities for staff at 2.30pm. Saw so many unfamiliar faces and feel so left out & bored and I feel lazy going around trying to socialize and know new people... We toured around the new HQ where it shifted to Telok Blangah & I’m impressed by their facilities. Especially their swimming pool where it has a bar counter & tennis court situated on a hilltop! Wow... we also toured their office and it seems like a maze. I almost got lost and didn’t even know how to go back to the main entrance.

After the HQ tour, I had a date with Bee & Shiryee. We intended to go Night Safari initially but had some last minute changes. I knew we won’t go the Night Safari eventually because firstly, it is far.. ..secondly, we are meeting quite late and the Halloween event in Night Safari starts at 7pm... how to make it? Although I’m disappointed.. i feel happy that shiryee is joining us for dinner as it had been ages since we ‘3 Charlie Angel’ had a good time catching up with each other.

I was waiting at the bus stop & eating my curry puff happily when I sensed something amiss. Shit! I have not rent the DVDs for my movie screening tomorrow. AArrggghhhh!!!

I took bus and alight at Sommerset MRT station. I gave a call to Bee asking her whether she knows of any DVD rental outlet in Sommerset. She replied nope & I had to take a MRT to Novena and rent the DVD before I finally came back to Sommerset again. Imagine I had to rushed here & there... my mood has been affected & I feel kinda angry & irritated at myself.

When I finally arrived to meet the gals in Marche, the table was covered totally with plates of food... They told me they left some food specially for me but I was feeling so, so full after the buffect in HQ that I had to reject my favourite dish-Rosti!  =(

Weide came over to join us & frankly speaking.. i don’t like him to join us in our gathering. Everytime he comes, shiryee won’t be able to stay long and have to go back at around 12plus with him.

We watched Shark Tales after the feast at Marche and the movie was quite hilarious. However it was not that fantastic and I would rate it 7 out of 10.

Bee & me were discussing whether to watch korean RA movie ‘Everybody has Secrets’ after the movie ended. As usual, Weide said he is tired and needs to go back although Shiryee feels tempted to join us. We 3 gals are all going gaga over the male lead-Lee Byung Hun... he is so droolsome that I keep lemming to Bee during Shark Tales movie that I wanna watch Lee Byung Hun!

We managed to purchase the movie tickets at 1.20am timing and we sat at a cafe chit chatting & killing time.

Although Lee Byung Hun is very hunky & cute in the movie(there are some scences where he resemblances my ex)... the movie lacks depth. If not for Lee Byung Hun... i would have walked out of the theatrette halfway through...

Bee & I shared a cab after that. I reached home at around 4am and I need to wake up early for my movie screening event next day.. tired....

Sat Oct 30

Wake up at around 10.30am. Feels pissed off when I realised my brother has already went out. That means I had to walk out 20 bloody long minutes under the hot sun just to get to the main road and board the bus. Sometimes I really hate the place where I’m staying.. so inconvenient and ’ulu’...

I was walking and sweating under the hot sun. My new Giordano top that I wore was already drenched in sweat and no cab in sight!

I walked to the main road when I saw Bus 86 approaching. I ran for 50m to catch it & the driver was kind enough to wait for me.

I board the bus and was looking for my wallet to scan my EZlink card... Fuck!! I forgotten to bring my wallet! I explained to the driver and he said in a mocking tone,” U ran for such a long distance trying to catch the bus & u forgotten your wallet?” I feel insulted at that moment.....

I alighted at the next stop & all the passengers were looking at me.. i feel so paiseh and wanna dig a hole & burry my head in it!

I frantically hailed a cab and asked the driver to drive to my house, grab my wallet and proceed to my company. Total damage due to my forgetfulness - $12.40 for cab fee.....

I reached the office & started typing out my survey feedback & movie event. I had inline skating & movie event at around the same time & i had to rush both areas to check out everything...how I wished I can make duplicate of myself.

There were some cork up in the movie event as the disc skipped a few scenes and it was obvious to the audiences. It jumped and skipped for about 30seconds... and I called Kelvin for help... by the time he arrived... the scences resumed back to normal...

He nagged at me that it was the third time organising movie event and why am I so forgetful? Always forget this & that...he advised me to remember some important details and played around with the sound system to get a hang of operating the movie screening in the projector room myself.... what he said was true and I feel so low about myself .... feel that i’m so useless and stupid.....

Supposed to go my colleague’s wedding after my event has ended... however, huiling is celebrating her birthday in malaysia and I decided to forgo my colleagues wedding. I’m not close to my colleagues and he invited some ex staff fro the club. Imagine sitting in a table with unfamiliar faces around you... is a torture...

I meet up with Bee, Olive, Maria & her bf to purchase ahling’s bday present. We decided to take Singapore-Johore Express bus as it is faster and we are late for the dinner feast thrown by ahling..

There was jam in causeway and by the time we arrived...it was already 9pm...we had 8 courses for the dinner and the bill amounted to RM 168... that is so cheap! If we had this in Singapore... i think it will cost S$300 for 10 people.....

We proceeded to sing KTV there and sang til 4am and there are free flow of beer or us... ahling’s dad’s friend ‘sponsor’ us with drinks and we sang til all of us are dead tired....

Bee, shiryee & me went back to shiryee’s house & we slept til 11am the next day.

Sun Oct 31

Awaken by shiryee at 11am. They urged me to brush my teeth & dress myself up as Bee needs to leave soon.

I put on my contact lens and my eyes felt irritated and discomfort immediately. It was because I forgotten to bring my contact lens solution and soak my lenses in tap water.

I thought of nothing and keep wearing it for about 30minutes whn I felt my eyes ‘burning’ and getting very itchy. I quickly take a look at myself in the mirror and realised my eyes are turning red... I panic and take out my contact lens immediately. I threw away my contact lens and felt heart pain coz I just changed into a new pair 2days ago... the contact lens can last me up to a month...so wasted!

Shiryee’s cousin drove Bee to Custom and we proceed to have our lunch in a nearby restaurant.

After lunch, they drove us to shopping centre-Jusco to do grocery shopping. Shiryee, me & her cousin bought some clothes and we spend alot of time trying clothes in SODA. I’m excited because I loved this label since I’m a teenager and SODA label are no longer found in Singapore....

I told shiryee I will come in JB often whenever I wanna unwind myself... she asked me why and I told her because the pace in Malaysia is slower & I feel calmer & more relaxed over here.

I had dinner with shiryee’s family before returning back to Singapore. I envy shiryee’s families because they had dinner gathering every Sunday... My family never had dinner gathering except for Chinese New Year.... having dinner with families is something so simple yet being taken advantage by most people.... I wished my bond with my families will be stronger.

Was surfing around when I chanced upon the third party’s blog... haha... her blog is kinda boring and from the way she wrote expressing her thoughts and her everyday life...can sensed she is kinda childish. Her whole blog is about her thinking of my ex... worrying about him etc... From her diaries entry, I’m glad I left him... he still seemed so possessive and restricted her from meeting up with her friends, clubbing etc..They quarreled often and she has doubts whether will they lasted long?

Is this sweet revenge for me? I don’t know and can’t be bothered but I know my ex doesn’t deserve my love for him....