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Nickname: SpicyCoolGal
Birthday: 23 September
Star Sign: Virgo/Libra
Personality: Happy-Go-Lucky, Blur, Procrastinate, Careless, Paranoid, Messy, Friendly, Stubborn
Fav Actor: Ethan Hawke
Fav singer/band: Jewel, ColdPlay, Bon Jovi.
Ethan's Palace
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| Fun & Tiredness |
| 06.24.04 (6:02 am) [edit] |
Feeling sleepy even though I'm typing this. Went to Mambo Nite in Zouk yesterday and hence tat explains my sleppiness.... Well, nothing much happen today except that my workshop takes place and actually I think it is organised in a rather messy way. My god! I think I'm really lousy in planning. Imagine I have to play 'part-time waitress' in serving the kids(for my event).. gosh! However, I have to admit those kids are adorable but very naughty.. Feel ands breathe a sigh of relief after my event has finished
My colleague told me my partner in same department Audrey has spoilt the projecter and cost $400 plus to replace the new thing. Wow... then Jason asked whether Audrey and me needs help in projector stuff for our project? He say Kelvin & him can help us out... I don't know why but I feel insulted... I know I'm blur but they way he phrase it seems like I'm very useless :cry:
My brother fetch me home and he seem very free.. I realished he quit his job... well, in the car, I asked him what type of job he intend to find. He told me he has no idea...What? I'm really worried about my brother. He is 31 alreadsy and want to make a career switch.. He is sick of being an engineer... but he quit his job without knowing what he want? Isn't it very risky? He just got married, needs to pay car monthly installment, rent etc... I'm really worried... I hoped he found a job as soon as possible. I really hoped he has sorted out his thought and know what he wants to do
I guess if I'm him.. maybe I will faced the same problem.. till now... I find I never put in much effort and passion in my job. I guess I keep on thinking want to stay at home be a tai-tai ever since what the fortune teller has told me... I will try not to let the thought of being taitai affects my behaviour and attitudes towards life and my job....
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| I DESERVE A MUCH BETTER GUY! |
| 06.22.04 (5:32 am) [edit] |
Been browsing the third party's pictures in friendster page. I thought she had break up with my ex bf when I saw her friendster page months ago putting the status single and erasing all her photos with my ex-bf.
When I go and check the photos on-and off, saw that she put up a recent photo of her and my ex-bf... Makes me wondering are they still together? I tell myself it doesn't matter whether they are together or not....... what matters most is I feel happier without him. I admit I do feel a little jealous when I saw her photos with him but not as bad as last time... think I starting to slowly get over him... I still don't know about myself... feeling very confused... I don't know whether I still like him although I do miss him once in a while but I'm glad I had a much better life out there without him.......
I DESERVE A MUCH BETTER GUY! To the third party: I really feel sorry that you have to give up your social life, night life and all your friends for that loser... Getting yourself tied down to a loser like him is not worth it.... Although you had my ex-bf, I think I had 'won' because I lead a much better and more meaningful life than you. I feel pity that you are going to miss out all the fun out there.... :lol:
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| I feel something missing in me |
| 06.21.04 (8:07 am) [edit] |
21/6/04 Monday
I find myself missing him... my ex bf. Have been dreaming about him for 2 times within a week... I'm quite shocked. We have broke up for nearly half a year and I still miss his presence. I still remembered my 2 dreams about him.
My first dream was he came back wanting to patch back with me. I asked him why he broke up with the 3rd party. He told me that they had an arguement over TV set and he found her damn childish and not the one for him. He decided to come back to me and we patched back. However, we started to quarrel very frequently again and break up once again.
My 2nd dream is about him getting attached with a new girlfriend(not the 3rd party)... Inside my dream, his new girlfriend is very sweet and innocent type.. will be very suitable for him... I had mixed feelings in the dream... I was feeling sad as well as glad he found nice gal...
I woke up and feel surprised how I feel towards him.. after all the shit things he had done to me and for breaking my heart... I still doesn't really hate him and still feel 'happy' for him in my 2nd dream that he found another nice gal.... I'm feeling very confused now......
18/6/04
Heard from my colleague Jason that I had a complain. He told me the lady blamed me for not informing her of various other methods of registering for the event. Hence she is not able to register the event. Not only that I forget to 'close' the event publish in the internet. When she saw the event 'is still open for registering', she came down all the way to my club to register for the event to find out that it is full and not for registration any more.... She is so angry that she is on the verge of complaining and luckily jason helped me solved the difficult situations while I'm not around.
2nd unlucky incident is that my other workshop is 'corked up'.... It is because my workshop is published at the last minute and hence has lots of last minute walk-in participants. Hence the instructor came unprepared in dealing with so many influx of people attending the event at a time.. my workshop was messy, cramped and parents are not satisfied... my second blow to me within a day... no wonder my face was so black the whole morniong and I really feel very demoralised about it..... I'm praying hard my other events don't get 'cocked up' again.....
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| Pulau Ubin Trip |
| 06.17.04 (8:25 am) [edit] |
17/6/04
Went with Chase-my colleague from another branch to Ubin trip. It is to get myself familarise with the environment since I will be the tour guide of Pulau Ubin trip next saturday. Reach in Yishun at around 9.20am. It is to help Chase with the attendants and everything. Once ready, we board on the bus and saw Derric the bus-driver for Discover S'pore Tour. Am amazed to found out that our company uses the same bus driver for other branches.
The journey is quite long. About an hour to reach Ubin. We have to wait for the bun boat and when we finally arrived in Ubin island. It is already 10.30am. We go aboard to the bus and have a small mini-tour around Ubin.
First stop-Chinese temple. It is just a short tour around the chinese temple and we get to see all the Chinese gods and statues within a temple. I'm concerned that some of the members are Christian or other religion and they may wish to wait outside the temple but they gladly stepped inside to take a look. Phew!
Second stop-Thai temple. Quite interesting. Although it is something like the Chinese teple, what gets me intersted is there is a small machine where we have to put in $1 coin. The machine will reveal a number and we took a paper with the number written on it. Mine is 25 and 18 which is strange since it shoud pop out 1 number only. However the light at number 25 seems to be brighter and hence take a look at the no.25 paper. Hmm... the interpretation says that my fortune is not so good and should do more good deeds to improve my luck. I took another peek at paper no.18.. the reading also doesn't seemed to be too good. Chase warned me about taking care. Strange... he is a christian so I thought he doesn't believe in this things. Anyway I try not to let this affect me and treat it like lightly.
Third stop, we have a look at the quarry. It is a magnificent sight but looks like Xiao Guilin in S'pore. It is just that Xiao Guilin is a much smaller version.
We stop over to have lunch and we continued our journey 1 hour later.
5th stop- Village Chief house
The Chief is already 99 year old but he still look quite healthy! Amazed.. His house looked like those 60's house in S'pore which is an eye-opener for me as I have never seen one.. what amazed me is he had an ostrich as a pet in his house. Wow!!
When I get on the bus, I didn't managed to shut the door tight enough. A lady member gladly helped me closed the door again but unfortunately at the same time, the bus start moving, she fall down and when her husband asked her why she is not that careful, she bursted out saying we never helped her at all.... I'm quite shocked and was wondering whether she is refering to me... The whole journey, I never spoke to that member... Still wondering whether is it my fault for not helping he to shut the door.
6th stop- Wild boar farm
There are lots of animals in this stop. We have a look at all the animals and there are peacock, ducks, parrot etc. Never knew there is a small 'zoo' in Pulau Ubin
7th stop- Norman beach
We went to the beach and saw lots of children camping there. It is no surprise as it is the June school holiday now. The beach is alot cleaner than our own beach in East Coast. There are also some barriers in the shore to prevent illegal immigrants from swimming over to S'pore shore.
8th stop and last stop- Ubin resort
Am amazed by this resort! Initially I thought this is going to be a veri 'ulu' and deserted resort but when I get to toured inside the place, am very surprised by the vast facilities, nice lagoon, ample sea 'space' for kayaking etc... Wow! Perfect place for adventure thrills! Will considered calling yan and gan to come here for a short getaway. Ha...
Finally went home and on the way, Chase keep on asking am I feeling sleepy. Actually I am plus feeling quite uncomfortable that he keep looking back to check whether I'm asleep.
When we touched down, he showed me some of the compliments on the survey form members has written. That's great! Chase also told me to be careful since I'm quite new in the company. Has to watched 'my back', keep secrets to myself etc... actually I heard lots of rumours about chase saying he is a playboy and likes to tacke gals.. well... I don't care about all this rumours and let the truth revealed by itself.. so far chase been quite ok with me.
I'm praying and hoping that on my Pulau Ubin trip, it won't rain and hope the weather will be good. I also hope everything will goes on smoothly and no complaints from members! :D
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| Praying |
| 06.12.04 (7:48 am) [edit] |
11/6/04
Went to my company's gym for workout. Feel a great sense of achievement as I ran the threadmill for 40 minutes & doing walking treadmill for 30mins... Amazing! I realised I had great determination... Haha...
After a sweaty and satisfying workout, went to Haagen Das to eat ice-cream with my colleagues. My colleagues commented that the image i gave them is always like blur blur one... feel so sad... am i really that blur? I find that i do really mind people's comments... :(
After haagen das feast with my colleagues, share a cab with my colleague Janet. Actually I don't really feel like sharing, however she keep on psychoing me and I can sense that she knows I'm weak and easily swayed and bullied thats why she keep on asking me to accompany her. Well.. in the end I did and I alighted in Toa Payoh to meet up with Shir & Bee in Cafe Cartel
We had a heart-to heart talk and shir poured out all the unhappiness and troubles that had been bothering her for a long time. She is in depression and she is trying very hard not to let it become worse. She talked about going to break down any moment because she is sick that all bad things are coming to her all at the same time. She has to deal with her emotional pain that her mum had demised. Her elder sister wanted to commit suicide because of the family stress, her third sister has mental problems and constantly disturbing her and her younger sister ran away from home. Shir suffered backstabbing from her colleagues in work and had relationship woes with John. Shir broke down and cried... She said life is unfair to her... at that moment... I feel so sad for her and really hope that we could do something to make her feel better.
It really breaks my heart to see her suffering all this shit and we can't do a thing at all... I think the only way is to pray for her.. I really hope she can stand up again and be a brave gal again.. I believe she deserved a better life in future and I seriously hope she will be able to find happiness.......
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12/6/04
Went to work and helped jason put up his events posters & signages all over our club. Meet Leonard the fitness trainer in our club and he told me that got a gym member saw me once & quite interested in me.. Feels quite flattered.. hahaha...
Learn driving today and I'm quite satisfied to know that I had improved slightly.. Ha.. I hope I can take one step at a time.. :D
Meet up with Soonshan for shopping trip... She wanted to buy some shoes and clothes but ended up we have a 3 hours long talk about alot of things in KFC. I complained to her about my ex-company, my character, her relationship, our secondary school memories...
I guessed Soonshan and I chatted the longest about our secondary school fun memories.. We had some good laugh about secondary school matters.. such as the 'RA comic book' that I usually drawn... the squat between me & Tianzhen over a roll of camera film... hahaha....Conincidently, we saw Tianzhen queuing up with her husband to purchase KFC meal and luckily she nv saw us... I saw her hubby finally in real person and I must admit he is really very handsome and cute.. At that instance I'm very happy because i remembered Tianzhen & I have the same hand curves in our hand. According to popular belief, the curves of the hand represent that whether your significant other looks is good looking.
Tianzhen's curve in hand is very curvy and so do I... so i'm secretly praying that my hubby will be handsome, cute and preferably rich plus love me a lot and faithful.. am i asking too much? :lol:
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| Davina is back! |
| 06.10.04 (8:10 am) [edit] |
10/6/04
Davina is back! She came back to Singapore for a short holiday after her exam has finished. I asked her whether is fun studying in Australia. She told me it is a very good exposure and you get to see all kinds of people and of different culture.. makes me wanna feel like going overseas to study...
Had supper with daavina, shir, elvin and john. Davina has gravings for chinese and local food. She told me she got so sick of Macdonalds and western food over ther. Also realised she put on abit on weight. Must be all the western food she has been consuming over there......
Davina told us to go clubbing and karaoke tomorrow.. Can't wait!!! :D
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| So many things on my mind! |
| 06.09.04 (5:07 am) [edit] |
7/6/04
Went to watch Harry Potter with Bee. Hmm... quite enjoyable show but I find it too draggy. But Daniel Radcliffe(the guy playing Harry Potter) is so cute! Oh no... I always like younger guys.. Help!! Hahaha...
Bee and me had a talk and she mentioned about the Benjamin cute guy.. I realised Bee and me had the same taste in guys.. Oh well... anyway I think she will always stands a better chance in attracting guys.. coz she knows how to carry herself wheras I have nothing... low self-confident, not talented, stupid etc... everything about me pales in comparison compared to Bee... I guess I will resigned to my fate.
8/6/04
My colleague Jason gave me the free tickets 'The Punisher' he has won. Asked yan to accompany me to watch. Well, saw quite a couple of my colleagues there in the threater. What a small world! The show was quite boring but i just watched it for entertainment purpose. Out of 5 stars i will only give 2 star.
Yan and me went to kopitiam to have a drink and chit-chat. She told me that her friend Xiuqing has an affair with a married man and we also chatted about love, marriage stuff. I don't know why but I'm losing confident in love, marriage. What's the point of staying married when the other party will be unfaithful? Seeing all these real life examples makes me feel afraid and scared of getting married...
9/6/04
Today my colleague told me that got a friend is interested in me. Ha.. i think it has been quite some time since a guy is interested in me... Well... he told me the guy saw me in 'The Punisher' movie yesterday and want to gets to know me better. Hmm... I admit i do feel flattered and feels real good about myself.. but too bad he is not the type of guy i'm looking for. I'm veri shallw minded i admit because i goes for looks... i like boyish and tall guys. The guy is neither..... well, i'm not leaving him out of my list as my options are always open... We will see how it goes....
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| Busy, Busy!! |
| 06.06.04 (9:26 am) [edit] |
Phew had a busy week starting from last friday. I didn't have enough sleep and can feel the tiredness while still typing this entry!
4/6/04
It is my first event that takes place!! I'm so excited!! Although the response isn't good(5 participants), I managed to get help from my colleagues where they call their relatives for my event free. I had 13 participants altogether.
We went to the first stop which is the Sports Museum. Miss Malliga whom is the person-in charge took us around the museum and we have a peek on some interesting Sports facts and history in Singapore. I even had a glimpse of the Olympic silver medal in 60's won by a Singaporean. Seeing the trophies and medals won by Singaporean, I feel so proud of them and for that moment, feel so proud to be a Singaporean :lol:
Although the Sports Museum is abit boring, I had gain some insights of Sports in Singapore.
@nd stop, we went to the Air Force museum. Hmm... when we touched down, saw alot of airplane models and we were so impressed by it initially. We watched a short video on RSAF followed by a bried introduction of the aeroplanes and we proceed to the 2nd level to watch the uniforms, wax figures, pictures in the Air Force Museum.
The person-in charge is quite nice and give us some sourvenirs to thanked us for coming down to Air Force Museum.
We had a quick lunch and we proceed to the thord venue which is the NewWater Plant. The MC of the day was actually from Singapore Discover Centre and it makes the own journey in NewWater so much more interesting and fun! We had a good laugh and gained some valuable knowledge on how waste water are recycled into new water. This is one of the achievement that Singapore had done and I feel so proud of it.
The last stop, we went to Police Centre where the host Mr Iskandar is so friendly. We had a short tour, video clip and light refreshments organised by them. I feel so welcomed by them. One of the officer Mr Kelvin is quite cute. Me and my colleague Carol keep on signalling each other and we laughed. One of the male participants knew what we were talking and he made fun of us by saying he try to get the phone number of Mr Kelvin for us. Hahaha.....
I feel that the event overall is a very good and nice experience for me and I hope my following event will be as smooth and hoped it will get better each time. :lol:
5/6/04
Sat is my company's major event. We had the indoor archery competition held in my club and I was deployed to be the scorer. It was quite interesting to see the people competiting and shooting the 'bull's eye'... hmm.. i'm going to try shooting archery one of these days. I feel quite bored because we had nothing to do much and just keep staring at the people competing..... the evnt lasted til around 5pm before we proceed to the a reception room for buffect refreshment. Audrey(my colleague) tole me that the 2 of us were deployed again to be the ushere for open the goor for guest of honour... Quite bo liao.......
By the time we finished packing is almost 8.30pm and I rushed to Downtown East to meet Clausia where we promised Bee to help her out for her Initial B Arcade event.
The event starts off at 11pm and ends at 7am... My god! I feel so tired! I have been up since 7am in the morining and imagine I can't sleep til the next day 7am!! Gosh... luckily I saw some cute guys there and one particular guy-Benjamin caught my attention... hmm... Bee also had an interest in him... guess we both had the same taste in guys... (is that good or bad?)
I asked to leave early for the event to proceed to Emirates interview. I was very reluctant to go because actually I don't feel like trying. But i already promised a friend of mine to accompany her and I can't back out at the last minute. So I choose to go in the end. The main reason I don't feel like trying Emirates is cozI don't want to stay in Dubai. Secondly, I tried Emirates once before and I sucessfully got into 2nd round where I'm eliminated. Guess Emirates don't want to employs ladies that are too chinese-looking(like me). Hence I never bring any necessary documents for the interview. Imagine going for the interview without my resume, passport photo. No wonder they eliminate me in the 1st rond...anyway I don't feel sad, feel relieved because I don't need to take another leave for the second round of interview plus i'm not keen. My friend got in... same as me.. she tried twice and got in twice.... I don't know whether she will got in eventually since the gals they are looking for in Emirates are very stringent... I guess she might not make it since she is so young and don't look 'Indian and Arabic' enough. I will wait and see her reply on Wednesday for the 2nd interview.
Went to learn driving straight after the Emirates Interview.. Gosh! So tired... anyway I ad a fun time driving and I guess I grab some basics of driving.. so happy! Can't wait for my driving lesson next saturday!
Going to sleep soon after this! Oh yes! Going to watch Harry Potter tomorrow. Yeah!!! :D
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| Pissed Off |
| 06.03.04 (5:05 am) [edit] |
3/6/04
Today is a lousy day for me. I'm in such a bad mood.. I can't find my T-shirt for events that is happening on saturday. Actually that T-shirt is not mine. Is my colleague's one. She lend it to me as I need to wear a blue polo T-shirt with our company logo at the back. I wear it on Friday for our company events and my mum wash it. Mysteriously, it dissappear! I'm so pissed off. How on earth can it dissappear? I check my brother's room, dad's room and my room. No sight of the T-shirt! So pissed off & in such a bad mood!
This morning, I received an email from one of the participant. Realised I made a huge mistake. My registration form for the event printed the correct date friday but my marketing document I wrote wrongly which is on a saturday. Hence my participant withdrawn and 3 other guest registered under his name also withdraw! My events in the end only have 5 people!! I calculated and we make a loss of $110!!! Why am I so blur and careless? Feel so ashamed of myself and pissed off too. I really think I'm a failure in everything I do. Such a simple event I wrecked it. Even a simple Tshirt I also can't find at all! Today is a damn lousy day for me!!!!!
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| Finally! |
| 06.02.04 (8:59 am) [edit] |
2/6/04
Was grumbling to my mum this noon. I shouted to my brother before he went out together with his gf to wait for me. He didn't and he left. I was so pissed off! It was around 1pm and the weather was so hot!! I don't want to walk out in the hot sun to the nearest bus stop. The journey from my house to the bus stop is 20minutes! I would be sweating and panting plus all my makeup will melt under the hot sun. I 'complain' to my mum saying i'm not happy staying at our current house. Although it is a lot bigger to my previous house, it is so inacessible! I really dread going out everytime without my brother or father around(coz they can drop me at the nearest mrt)
My mum then suggested asking my second brother to drive me to mrt... I kept quiet. It is because I haven't spoken to my brother more than 10 sentences for many years... we hardly communicate and I'm closer to my elder brother. So conincidently, my 2nd brother was preparing to go out and my mum suggested him to drop me off at the mrt station. He agreed and I took my bag and sat in his van immediately. My second brother talked to me and I think it must be years since he last spoken to me. He asked me whether I'm working and I relpied him back. We chatted a bit and i think the small conversation makes us closer slightly. Finally!! After nearly 10 years, we talked and converse with each other.
Meet claudia to go shopping. Went around cityhall, suntec area and I didn't buy much. I'm on budget and although the Great Singapore Sale is going on, i'm not very tempted by much of the stuffs... which is a good sign that i won't be spending and wasting $$.
We hanged around til around 7plus then meet the rest of my poly classmates for gathering dinner. Have dinner in pizzahut before we proceed to NYDC cafe for desserts... Yummy!! Think I'm going to shed off those calories tomorrow by doing exercise feverishly!!
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I am 36% evil.
I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.
Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com
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Music Codes Central
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